Monday, 14 March 2016

Trumping my own Trumpet (toot toot)

 
Hello there Gentle readers, where ever you are in the world, you know who Donald Trump is.

I have been doing some research into this man, who claims to be the choice of the common man and considering his net worth is in the billions, is the common man just an ordinary millionaire.

This research I have been doing is to find the funniest Trump Jokes because if this guy wins in November, I promise, WE WONT BE LAUGHING.

Donald Trump is giving narcissism a bad name.―Madeline Begun Kane

Donald Trump is "the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman

Donald Trump likes to say he's a friend to "the blacks." Unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I'm guessing he's mistaken.―Seth Meyers

This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole!―Lewis Black

In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, "I believe in god." But of course Donald was talking about Himself.―Jay Leno

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.West―Bill Maher

Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.―Andy Borowitz

Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.―Craig Ferguson

By the way Gentle Reader where I come from a "TRUMP" is a fart.....maybe that explains the bad feeling I get in my gut when I hear him speaking.

....and finally this ....

Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast? This is no joke, because the most expensive single building ever sold in the United States was purchased by the Trump family, at 666 Fifth Avenue, a street that symbolizes money (Mammon). The price was $1.8 billion, which is three more sixes! Another Trump tower at One Journal Square will be 666 feet high with a price tag of $666 million. And still that is just the tip of the 666 iceberg! The founder of the original Trump company died on 6-6-6 and her maiden name may shock you: Elizabeth Christ. You can click the hyperlink to learn more (no annoying ads or requests for money; this is a public service). Yes, it does sound like the plot of a new OMEN movie, but in this case fact really is stranger than fiction. Ironically, evangelical Christian leaders are now lining up to endorse Trump. Have the very elect been deceived, just as the Hebrew prophets predicted thousands of years ago when they told us to listen for the Trump of Doom? The Antichrist has been prophesied to be a sort of "reverse twin" of Jesus Christ, as if Lucifer became flesh and sought to become the Savior of the world. And Trump has certainly been proclaiming himself as the only possible Savior. For instance, at a campaign rally in Kiawah Island, S.C., the egomaniacal Trump made it clear that he, not God Almighty, is the only possible defender of Christians. Discussing ISIS, Trump said, “Their primary goal is to get to the Vatican. If and when the Vatican is attacked, the pope would only wish and have prayed that Donald Trump would have been elected president.” In other words, it is useless for people of faith to pray to God for protection. Christians should pray for Trump to save them, or perhaps directly to The Donald. Who but an Antichrist would claim to be a Christian while denying the need to ask God for forgiveness? Who but an Antichrist would denigrate Holy Communion by reducing it to a "little cracker" and a "little wine," when these represent the sacred body and blood of Jesus Christ to real Christian believers?

This proves that some Americans will believe anything.....lets hope they wont just vote like it too.

#donaldtrump #antichrist?

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